"Oh, shit, I'm WAY too late, aren't I? What a HUGE mistake. This is, without a doubt, the BIGGEST party disaster I've EVER had." She panted, exaggerating the severity of any shortness of breath that could possibly have resulted from a couple laps around the office. As usual, Kate had a way of making...everything...seem larger or more extreme than in actuality. She was a study in the contrasts of large and small. On the top of her petite little stick figure body balanced a plus-size brain with matching ego that dreamed up enormous scenarios and plans. Unfortunately (or was it fortunately?), her tiny attention span had a way of distracting her from implementing most of them.

"We've must have somehow passed each other," Kate said as she grabbed plates of cake off the table and shoved them at the bridal trolls. "I was out there trying to ward you off. Thanks, anyway. Please leave."

"All men are jerks," Jacqueline said, watching them go with ill-concealed distaste. "If you really think about it, somewhere in the world, every nanosecond, a guy is being a jerk. This is an epidemic right up there with, say, Ebola."

Kate nodded ruefully as she scraped the frosting off her cake and piled it on the side of her plate. "You'd think that, it being a disease specific to men, there would already be billions of dollars allocated for the study and treatment, but there you are. There's no money allocated at all."

"That's because women would be the main beneficiaries of a cure."

"How long have you been going out with this guy?" the college intern asked.

"Eight years."

"Eight years is a long time," Jacqueline said. "So, he's already had his mid-life crisis, then?"

Clarissa smiled confidently. "Oh, I don't think Kieran's the type. He's very stable."

The college intern looked puzzled. "Is that a generational thing?"

Jacqueline Smith's high-pitched squeal of laughter arrested the entire room. She swirled the contents of her cup, and Clarissa was beginning to wonder if there was more than just Coke in there. "They are all the type. It's a generational thing, all right, but it's no generation you're familiar with. X, Y, these have nothing to do with the male species. All men belong to the same generationÑGeneration WHY. As in 'WHY ME,' a close relative of 'POOR ME.' As in 'WHY am I here and How Did My Life Get To This Point?'" She paused and studied the contents of her cup very carefully then wrinkled her forehead. "Or maybe I'm getting it all wrong. Maybe it's Generation WHINE...oh, that's good."

Lonnie broke through the latest awkward silence. "She has a point. Anyway, when you think about it, Kieran would only end up being your first husband. Not your last. If he never proposes, you can just skip the whole unpleasant starter marriage step and save yourself a lot of trouble. Go straight to spouse #2, your keeper spouse."

"Yeah, don't waste your time on a guy who hasn't had his crisis yet. You want to get 'em post-crisis. You want to be the solution, not the problem," Mary said.